• Why is it when people need to reschedule something, they have to give their whole life story? Little note: I DON'T CARE. #
• On a mission to rid my email of junk mail. Unsubscribe is my friend. #
• Trying to figure out a new nap system since Smushy can climb out of the crib. Work in progress. #
• Letting the hubby sleep in and about to start his breakfast. #
• @valerieobrien Yay! in reply to valerieobrien #
• Reading books to Smushy. #
• The house is finally CLEAN! Wonder how long it'll stay that way? #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

• Why is it when people need to reschedule something, they have to give their whole life story? Little note: I DON'T CARE. #
• On a mission to rid my email of junk mail. Unsubscribe is my friend. #
• Trying to figure out a new nap system since Smushy can climb out of the crib. Work in progress. #
• Letting the hubby sleep in and about to start his breakfast. #
• @valerieobrien Yay! in reply to valerieobrien #
• Reading books to Smushy. #
• The house is finally CLEAN! Wonder how long it'll stay that way? #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

But no time! Things are still insane around here and will probably stay that way for another week. The garage doors are getting replaced on Monday. The bathrooms are getting done on Tuesday. We have to be out of the house all day on Tuesday because of the fumes, so we’re staying in a hotel for the night.

And tomorrow someone is coming to look at the house. This is the first time, so we’re busy busy cleaning. I’m not going out of my way to make it perfect since this isn’t my house and I don’t really give a shit if it sells, but I am trying to make it look decent. Nice for me too since I get to live in a cleaner house. Woo!

The AC is still on the fritz and the home owner is trying to get out of fixing it. I get that they’re trying to sell the house and don’t want to put a bunch of money in it, but this is Texas. In the Summer. The end. Actually Mr. Silly is getting pretty pissed about the whole thing and that actually makes him more silly. Maybe just to me though.

Smushy is not napping well and I know the reason(s), but have no time to go into it because there are a LOT of reasons. I blame Mr. Silly and also the government and I will completely explain when I have more time. Either way the not napping or napping at the dumbest times sucks and I would like that crap to stop rightthisminute! Progress report to follow.

• I just cleaned out my dresser and found Smushy's ID bracelet from the hospital when she was born. BAWL. #
• My feet are killing me and I stink, but at least the garage is clean! Now to finish the rest of the house. #
• I am never going to finish. And might I add, it totally sucks to bust your ass so someone else can sell the house you currently live in. #
• Washed and dried a crayon. Purple everywhere. #
• I have no time for a desperately needed shower. And 4 people I am not related to have now seen me in my pj's and no bra. #
• Good news from the doc. Yay! #
• Insanity! #
• Mmmm. Cake. #
• Putting the house back together. Seriously, I am doing far too much around here as a renter. Someone should be paying me for this crap. #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

I’m having a hard time today. The clomid has been working and last cycle everything was perfect. We couldn’t have timed it any better. And today I started my period. I knew it was coming. I started testing at 9DPO (days past ovulation). Negative negative negative. I should say I’m not surprised, but this time I am. It should have worked. There was no reason for it not to work. We did everything right. Everything. I can’t even begin to explain how disappointed and frustrated and pissed I am that it didn’t work.

There are a few reasons this month is harder than usual. We’re moving soon and if I’m not pregnant before we leave, I’ll have to get a primary doc, make an appointment, get a referral to another doc and get an appointment with that one. I have an excellent doctor right now, but I have had less than great ones before. Less than great ones take a LONG time to get anything going. I can’t tell you how many missed opportunities we had to endure the last time because my doctor didn’t think 4 years of trying was quite long enough and wanted me to try a little longer. So I’d like to find someone who will be as proactive as I am. This all takes time. Time I’m not willing to wait, but may not have a choice.

Now that the 3rd cycle at 50mg failed, I don’t know what my doc is going to want to do. I would like to maybe bump it up to 100 and give it a good last try since we probably have one good shot before we leave. But I don’t know what my doc will think about that. She may want to do a bunch of testing again since it’s been a while. If that’s the case, it will probably cost us our last good shot before we move. I really don’t want that. I want a chance. Even if she decides to stick with 50, I’ll be ok with that. At least we have a chance.

I am so pissed. The whole thing is completely unfair and it pisses me off. I don’t even know how to elaborate on that. It is what it is.

I know how lucky I am. I don’t need to be told that I am lucky. I have a child. I already have what so many people are still struggling for. I appreciate her in ways I can’t explain. She makes it so much easier to see a negative test. She also keeps me busy enough so I don’t have as much time to dwell on it. I remember spending days being depressed after previous failed cycles. I didn’t have a reason to muddle through. Now I do. She won’t let me wallow, even when I want to.

It can be a double-edged sword though. I have one, so I know my body CAN make a baby and carry it to term. I know I’m capable of having another healthy baby. But knowing that makes not getting it even more frustrating. I can. So why haven’t I? There are no guarantees that I ever will.

But there is hope. So I’m going to focus on the hope.

• I just had the best fajitas in my life. #
• Finally home! Traveling really takes it out of you! #
• OMG Someone stoppppp the tantrums! Gah! #
• Toddlers make the worst back scratchers. #
• Swim lessons! #
• You know what sucks? A toddler landing on your face during swim lessons. #
• I am a terrible gift wrapper. #
• Went to bed with a headache, woke up with a headache and it still won't go away. Suck. #
• Back to purging and cleaning. It never ever ever ends. #
• I am very susceptible to food suggestions. Apparently. #
• Looking for a new twitter app for my iphone that does not suck. #

Powered by Twitter Tools.

We are busy. Busybusybusybusy. I am completely worn down by 9 every night and that is just not like me. I’m a night owl by nature. I get the most done at night from midnight to 2am. I don’t even know what midnight looks like anymore. I can’t seem to last that long.

We’re moving at the end of August. I know that sounds like a lot of time, especially since I don’t have to pack anything or worry about selling/buying a house. And it’s true, that stuff does make it a lot less stressful. I assume. I’ve never had to worry about that part, but from what I hear, it doesn’t sound fun.

But we have a routine when it comes to moving. We have to go through every single thing we own and donate/trash/sell a TON of stuff. I’m not really a pack rat, but for whatever reason, I keep finding STUFF everywhere. It has got to go. I refuse to move with 4 bottles of shampoo. REFUSE! And if you haven’t worn that shirt since the late 90’s, it’s gone. Period. And don’t even get me started on kid crap. It has taken over. Crap everywhere. It is going to take 900 years to go through everything.

PLUS!

The homeowners have put this house on the market. The realtor is supposed to come by on Monday to install the lock box and take pictures. Of the inside of the house. Where my crap is currently in piles. And oh did I mention they are planning on replacing the carpet in the playroom? Where all the toys are and 2 cubby shelves, 2 heavy bookshelves, a couch, a huge tv and the heaviest tv stand on the planet? And the carpet in the nursery is still wet from the leaking AC that was supposed to be fixed 2 days ago. And now it smells nasty in there and we had to take the crib apart and move it into the guest room. The guest room that isn’t even a little babyproofed and she had better not learn to climb out of her crib in the next 2 months because I will just have to duct tape her in there every night to protect her from the non-babyproofed room. AND! AND! The bathtub needs to be re-glazed and has needed it since we moved in, and even though we were told it would be done, it never was. So Smushy has been taking baths in an inflatable duck tub that she grew out of at least 4 months ago. I really really wish they had just waited until we were out of here before starting all this.

So before Monday, I have to clean every room in this house and organize and clean out the garage and coerce people to buy my stuff from Craigslist because having a garage sale is too much damn work.

I need a nap.

Sometimes I like to leave town for a few days (or weeks) and just not tell anyone.  It’s because I think you might come and steal my stuff.  Because, you know, you NEED my collection of crap.  Surely no one else has such a lovely crap collection.

We drove up to Austin for the weekend. It was perfect. If it weren’t so damn hot, I would want to live there. It’s got all the city stuff, but still a lot of green all around. We stayed at the Renaissance and it was so nice. Our room was perfect and Smushy even slept in the little pack-n-play they provided which never happens! She’s always right in between us. It was so nice to have a king sized bed all to ourselves!

Ahhhh!

Sleeping in the NOT grown-up bed!

Awwww!

There are a million restaurants and the food is amazing.  I had the best fajitas in my entire life there.  I want to go back and have some more.  Also, Cheesecake Factory.  I want to live there.  We ordered room service a couple times just to avoid the Smushy in a restaurant craziness.  It costs a billion dollars and unless we win the lottery, we probably won’t ever do it again.  But not having to deal with a crazy toddler in front of people?  Totally made it all worth it. We actually went there to get pictures done. Mr. Silly got me a photo shoot with a real photographer for Mother’s Day. No pics yet, but when I get them, I’ll post them.

Mr. Silly at PF Changs

Smushy at PF Changs

We visited the cow statues at the Arboretum. Smushy loved them (of course). We did a lot of walking around out there, but man it was HOT. I am not a fan of the heat.

Smushy riding the cow. Yeehaw!

Loving the cow.

Hugging the cow.

All in all, good trip! I would love to go back someday (in the winter). Fun fun fun!

Things have been a little crazy around here for the past couple of weeks.

For one, I started a new blog (this one) (in case it wasn’t clear).  There was a problem with the hosting setup or something I don’t know.  A friend of mine did a little looking and pointed me in the right direction and I am eternally grateful.  Now I see why people get stressed out about this stuff.  I seriously thought I’d be out the cost of a year of hosting.  That was depressing.  So I kinda think I’ll just renew every year for the rest of my life because I am never going through this again.

It’s a little boring right now and I hope to eventually have a custom blog design, but I don’t even know where to start with that.  It’ll come.  Eventually.

When I was pregnant with Smushy, our AC started leaking into the closet of the nursery.  The homeowners called in the professionals and it was fixed rather quickly.  The carpet was never replaced though.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago.  The AC started leaking again.  This time the owners just came themselves and blew it out with an air compressor.  It dried up and we went on with our lives.  Fast forward (again) to last week.  It starts leaking AGAIN.  This time the smell is so bad we had to take apart Smushy’s crib and move it into the guest room.  The professional came out today and fixed it, but it’s still wet and it still smells awful.  I can’t stand to even be in there for more than a few minutes.  I am so glad we’re moving soon.

Also, a pillar from the front porch fell off today.  Like for no reason.

And the bathtub wasn’t glazed right and has been peeling since we moved in.  We don’t use the bathtub.

I can’t wait to move.

We’re leaving tomorrow morning to take a little mini-vacation.  Mr. Silly got me a photo shoot with a professional (and awesome) photographer for Mother’s Day.  I’m never in pics with Smushy since I’m always behind the camera.  We’re planning on doing some mother-daughter shots and maybe a few of the whole family.  I’m really excited about it and I can’t wait to post pictures.

I’d better get to packing!