How it’s going so far

Things are good.  You know.  Trucking along and all.  Morning sickness comes and goes and even then it’s really just queasiness with some dry heaving thrown in for good measure.  I think I may have had it a little worse with Smushy, but even then it was tolerable.  I’m tired a lot, but not sleeping much at night.  Naps are my friend.

I’m extremely grouchy all the time.  Not at Mr. Silly or Smushy though.  Mostly at the internet.  Message boards and Facebook get on my nerves.  I’ve been avoiding them since I know I will lose my temper and bitch at someone and regret it later.  I’m getting tired of biting my tongue.  I didn’t feel like this at all the last time, so I don’t know if it’s a pregnancy thing or if I’m just bitchy.

I’m a little hesitant to celebrate this pregnancy until I have an ultrasound.  I feel like I’m just counting down the days.  With Smushy, I had ultrasounds at 5 weeks, 6.5 weeks, and 8 weeks.  It was comforting knowing there really was a baby there and then the baby really did have a heartbeat and was still growing like it should.  Now I just have a few lines saying I’m pregnant and sore boobs.  This is just not concrete enough for me.  My ultrasound is a week from tomorrow and that will put me at 8 weeks 3 days.  In other words, FOREVER.

I find the further along I get, and the closer to the ultrasound I get, the more nervous/anxious/excited/terrified I am.  It seems my emotions are a little more complex this time.  With Smushy, I was just over the moon happy and scared something would happen to the baby.  That pretty much sums it all up for the entire pregnancy.  Now I have all these other concerns.  I can’t seem to focus on just the happy.

Um.  Also, I’m worried it might be twins.