Mr. Silly had to go to Virginia for training for 2 weeks. With the car. The only car. So I was stuck here with Smushy. No big deal, really. There was lots of unpacking and organizing left to do (not that I did any of it).
The thing is, I hate being alone. I don’t do well. I get extra paranoid and just sucky in general. I think maybe I’m just out of practice? Mr. Silly has been off work for a year and before that he worked very short hours, so it was like he was home all the time anyway. I think I’m just very used to him being around. I know that I’m going to have to get back in the swing of things since he is going to be deployed at some point.
And maybe that’s part of why this is so much harder than usual. The next time he leaves, it will be for months at a time and I will have to deal with 2 kids by myself. Mr. Silly is a very involved dad. I’m not used to doing it all by myself. I mean, I have and I can, but I don’t like it. (Does anyone?) Since Smushy was born I knew the day would come that he would leave for months and months and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for that. But with him being in Virginia, I think it just suddenly hit me that I won’t have to worry about handling one kid on my own. I’ll have 2. All of a sudden. No transition time. It put me in a really big funk the entire time he was gone. Hormones don’t help.
This is all just stuff I’m going to have to work through and deal with (because what choice do I have?) and I’ll be fine when it comes down to it. I just needed some time to adjust and accept. I don’t know why I didn’t blog about it. This is supposed to be my outlet for stuff like this. I just couldn’t come up with the words I needed. Mostly I just wanted to cry and that doesn’t really come out in writing.
Things are better now. They always are when he’s home. We spent the first weekend doing family stuff. It was perfect. I know that sounds corny, but it really was the most perfect weekend of my life. He’ll be working long hours all week long while we’re here. Weekends are family time. I am going to make the most of what I have.
