Murphy’s Law

• The child WILL NOT take a normal length nap.
• You WILL fall asleep 2 minutes before she wakes up.
• And she WILL find the non-kid-friendly markers on the day you have to meet your husband’s new boss.
• And she WILL color her hands, arms, and face a very dark green.
• And you WILL NOT have anything in the house that might be able to remove it.
• And she WILL run around half naked saying “No pants!”
• And you WILL be a huge, pregnant house with nothing to wear.
• Seriously, 1 pair of jeans that fit.
• And you WILL have awful sciatic pain making it impossible to bend over to pick anything up, thus leaving your house a huge mess.
• And the never ending morning sickness and heartburn WILL kick in just before you have to leave even though they’ve stayed away all day.

Son of a monkey.