So.

Two kids are a little tougher than I expected. Or, rather, there are things about two kids that are tougher. Getting anything done, for instance. Every time I start something, I have to stop and change a diaper, or get a bowl of cereal, or clean up a bowl of cereal from the floor, or change another diaper, or feed a baby, or change my shirt because the baby spit up on me, or change the baby because he spit up on himself, or change another diaper. And by “or”, I mean “AND”.

In between all of that I’m doing laundry (why did no one tell me the laundry would multiply by 10 just by adding one small baby??), or doing dishes, or cleaning the living room/bedrooms/bathrooms, etc. And then if I do manage to get something done, the Toddler Tornado goes through again and destroys it.

And did I mention the packers will be here a week from today to pack up all my crap for the move? A week, people. That means we’ve also had cleaners (house and carpet) coming by the give us quotes. I’m a realist. If I can’t manage to keep it decent most days, there is no way I’m going to be able to do a move-out clean by myself while watching 2 kids with no TV to help. We’ll just hire people. I don’t even care how much it costs. Mr. Silly insisted on getting way too many quotes, which meant I had people randomly showing up with no notice because he forgot to tell me about it. More often than not, I answered the door in my pajamas with spit-up all over me, holding a crying baby while Smushy ran around like crazy in the background.

Plus we have all this other stuff going on to get ready for the move, like cleaning out the car and figuring out how I’m supposed to fit everything in it since during my initial, pre-baby planning, I did not take into consideration the frequency and volume of Doodle’s spit-up (and it is impressive) and there are no laundry stops. Which means I’m going to need a lot more shirts and burp cloths (though we use receiving blankets as burp cloths because it is IMPRESSIVE!) So! We need to have a roof rack storage thingy installed, so we have to call the dealer and have them order the bar part so they can install it when we go in for our 30,000 mile pre-cross-country-move stuff on Saturday, which is also the day we have to clean out the garage since we have the trash people coming by that day to pick up all the big trash we’ve collected.

And Smushy is in a particularly SUCK ASS phase right now. The not listening, running away in busy parking lots, saying “no” to everything I tell her to do/not do, being loud, making messes, laugh in your face when you try to discipline (ding ding ding! Mommy’s biggest red button), non-napping, annoying as all hell phase. I do not know what I’m doing. I feel like a complete failure. I am that bad mother who can not control her child. I hate that. I don’t want to be this way, I just can’t figure out what the hell to do about it.

Her behavior and his fussy evenings (fussy=crying/screaming) added on to everything else we have going on is just wearing on me. By the time we get both kids to sleep, I have no desire to do anything productive. Unless facebook, message boards, and iPhone games are considered productive these days.

I keep telling myself things will be better after we move and that Doodle won’t be in this screaming all evening phase forever and eventually I will figure out what to do about Smushy or her suck ass phase will end on it’s own. Things will get better. Just working on getting there.