Did you know when you own the domain and have a host for your blog, you have to pay, even if you’re not blogging. Yeah. I should probably start blogging again to make it worth it.
Let’s see, where to start?
We’re doing ok. Better than I expected, really. Smushy loves school. She doesn’t cry when I drop her off. She naps (sometimes). She eats lunch (Ok, once.) She asks to go to school on non-school days. She’s excited when I pick her up and tells me about her day. I am thrilled. I enrolled Doodle for drop-in care and he goes for a few hours once a week. It’s my only break, so I treasure it. I like having the time to get shopping done or clean the house or watch a movie without kids. It’s nice. I don’t know that he’ll keep going once Mr. Silly gets home, but for now it’s good.
Mr Silly is busy. Working a lot and not much free time. He’s called a few times. To be honest, we’re both pretty distant right now. I update about the kids and send the occasional picture. He talks about work as much as he’s able to say. But for the most part, we’ve been disconnected. I think it’s normal. We’re both busy and aren’t able to share the day to day. I miss him like crazy, of course. It will be better once he’s home.
Smushy’s 3rd birthday is right around the corner. My family is driving up to celebrate, so I’ve been trying to clean the house. Technically, I’m still working on unpacking the upstairs. The problem is that I’m only up there to sleep. Out of sight, out of mind and all that. Unfortunately, everyone is staying with us, so I absolutely have to have everything done. Su-uck. Slow and steady.
Doodle is amazing. He is the happiest baby. So smiley and giggly and I totally dig him. He is so sweet and fun. I had a really hard time in the beginning. I never really went into it on here, but it was Bad. Very bad. I’m too ashamed to go into it now. But now? Things are so good. I’m more patient. I’m calmer. He’s easier in general. I think he was sensitive to something in my breastmilk and showed that sensitivity by freaking the hell out constantly. So I stopped. Months ago, in fact. I still don’t know how I feel about it. On one hand, it so isn’t how I wanted it to be. I wanted to do it for as long as possible. On the other hand, as soon as I stopped, we were so much happier. All of us. The difference was amazing. And with Mr. Silly leaving and the PPD, I just know it was the right decision for us. But I’m sad. And I feel guilty sometimes. But it’s ok. We’re ok.
Pictures!
Look at that little grin
My girl. Cost of one ponytail? One bowl of chocolate ice cream.
We realized yesterday that we hadn’t really thought about taking Smushy to an official Easter Egg Hunt, so we scrambled around and checked the internet and found a couple of options. One would cost us $150 for an egg hunt and brunch. No. Joke. The other was $20 for just a hunt and technically that was only because we had to pay for the non-hunting adults. So silly, but since it was cheaper, we went with it.
I hadn’t thought to prep her, but decided to tell her what to do just before we went in. The eggs are hiding and we need to find them because there is CANDY! inside. Toddlers totally understand sugar. We started out by pointing out a few eggs to her so she’d get it. Then she figured it out and started finding them on her own. I did not want to be one of those asshole parents who finds 20 eggs and steals them all for her kid. Smushy walked away with about 8 eggs, which is pretty decent and even managed to snag one right before a big kid did and I didn’t even point it out to her. She had a really good time. As long as she didn’t have to go anywhere near the Easter Bunny. She is not a fan of 6 foot tall fuzzy creatures.
Bonus awesomness of the day? I totally managed to get everyone showered, dressed, and ready to go ON TIME!! That includes brushing Smushy’s hair, which is an accomplishment on the best of days.
Waiting patiently
Then we went to lunch. Smushy spent the time checking out the loot.
Doodle likes to be held. A lot. He pretty much slept the whole time in the Babyhawk. Awesome.
Once you have kids, that is your reality. I try to remind myself of that on the bad days to keep me from going off the deep end. I do the same on the good days to remind me to appreciate the moment while it lasts.
Because it never lasts.
Yesterday was a good day. I got the grocery shopping done and put away while Smushy was in school. Doodle napped in his car seat except when I had to feed him between errands. He wasn’t too fussy while we were out. I managed to get them both to sleep for ONE GLORIOUS HOUR of internetting and reading. I even managed to get some laundry done and wash the dishes AND cook dinner. Smushy wasn’t too annoying or toddlerish. Doodle didn’t scream at us too much. It was nice. Good day.
The days before was a bad day. Doodle didn’t sleep AT ALL that day. He just screamed and cried and ate. Smushy skipped her nap too and was generally annoying and disobedient. I think she had to go into time-out 3 or 4 times, which is a lot for her. She kept taking off all her clothes and peeing on the floor. (Though she did pee in the potty once for the very first time ever! Only good thing of the day.) Then she threw a full cup of water on the floor for no reason. When Mr. Silly got home, I begged for a break, but he decided right then would be the perfect time to call and get the TIVO working. So I had to wrangle both kids out of the living room since they were crying/screaming/noisy. We spent the next 30 minutes holed up in the bedroom while I nursed Doodle and tried to convince him to stop screaming at me and Smushy jumped and climbed all over the bed and me. I think I cried the entire time. Bad day.
I know things will get easier in some ways as Doodle gets older. And harder in others. I know we’re only 3 weeks in to being a family of 4 and there is an adjustment period. I know we’ll get it figured out. I know we have a lot going on with the upcoming move and boring day to day. And I know that we’re going to have a lot more good and bad days.
Mr. Silly turned 31 this month. I was a little busy being pregnant, then having a baby, recovering from major surgery and dealing with life with a newborn, so I kinda failed at the gift giving. His mom bought a cake when she was here, so I dind’t have to worry about that part. I managed to help the kids make some crafty gifts while he was at work, so that was done at least. And I bought him a blu ray off his wish list that got here late. I know, I suck. But at least I tried and that’s what counts. Plus, I took pictures!
Catching up on snuggle time
Whew!
Smushy woke up with no fever! Yay, right? But no, she is juuuust well enough to be completely disagreeable. She only wants yogurt and screams if I even make something different for myself. It took forever to get her down for a nap (with kicking and screaming) and she was coughing a bit, so I know it wasn’t very restful. Plus it was only 2 hours, which would be fine if she weren’t so cranky all day. Add on some stuck poops and we have both been miserable. I find myself feeling really bad for her one minute and really annoyed with her the next.
Mr. Silly is working late tonight and won’t be home for another hour and a half. He did come home for lunch and dinner though, so at least we got to see him a little. But that meant I was running around right before he got home both times trying to get meals done so he could eat quickly since he didn’t have a lot of time. Not a big deal, but I’ve been really contraction-y today and probably should try to stay off my (very very swollen) feet. Plus I asked him TWICE about his schedule on Wednesday because I have to go grocery shopping and TWICE he told me it was fine but then OhRightIForgot he has this thing that completely throws a wrench in my plans. This has happened for the past 3 weeks every time I have plans. I am getting pissed. I mean, I know it’s not his fault. But I don’t care. He is the only person I can get mad at and so take it out on him I shall! Grrrr!
My living room looks like HELL because I can’t bend over so well and my back starts screaming at me 2 seconds after I start trying to clean. I’ve asked Mr. Silly to handle it, but he just won’t. I don’t know why since he has no problem cleaning in general and has picked up the slack a TON. It’s just weird and annoying since it really looks like shit. Driving me absolutely crazy. So much so that I’ve actually started trying to clean it, but OMG pain. Suck it.
AND AND AND! We were charged some bogus charge and then refunded the wrong amount on our checking account. It was only 9 cents different, so we’re not fighting it, but we do have to go through the whole blah blah boring crap and it’s stupid. We’re planning on switching our checking account from that bank soon anyway, and this just cements that decision.
Plus, no one has told this child there is NO OPENING NEXT TO MY BELLYBUTTON from which to escape and he is trying to kill me. All the lotioning in the world does not seem to help this. I can not get him to pick a different position and my skin is stretched to the limit. Driving me batty!!
I’m just having one of those days.
I am sick. I have been sick since last year. I lost my voice on the 28th and on the 29th I started feeling a chest yucky-ness. Then it got bad. And I had family visiting and New Years and all that fun stuff. So I faked it. I mean, I sound like I’d been smoking a pack a day for 30 years, so it’s not like I was hiding it, I was just faking how functional I was. As in, I wasn’t. I barely made it through the time my sis was here. And when she left it all came crashing down on me. I spent the next 2 days feel completely miserable. I finally started feeling “better” on Sunday, but it’s still there. A nasty cough, and going through a million boxes of tissue and now I sound like I’ve been smoking a pack a day for 10 years. There are still times I have no voice at all and have to get by with whispering.
Mr. Silly tries. He really does. He can manage to take care of the house and Smushy by himself, but he could not take care of me too. I asked him for some hot tea and got it about 2 hours later. I asked him for food-and I was really specific because he hates when I don’t tell him exactly what I want- and I finally got it an hour later when I got my sick ass up and made it myself. Now, when he is sick I pretty much cater to him for days until he gets better AND take care of the house AND take care of the kid. He just can’t. It actually kinda pisses me off. Especially when he acts like he is sick too. When he isn’t and we both damn well know it. And then he acts like I just have what he just got over and to that I say LIAR! He had a cough for a couple of days. That was it. I don’t remember him being miserable for a week and a half. Big baby.
And now Smushy is getting something. I don’t know if it’s the same something, but I hope not. She has a nasty cough and sounds really stuffy, but nothing else. She’s acting just fine so far. As bad as it is to be sick and pregnant, it is much worse to see your kid sick and know there’s not much you can do. I suppose it’s better than this happen now instead of in March when I’m bringing a newborn into the mix.
So that’s pretty much it. We all feel like poop. The end.