A month by month list since I have a blog and can just look old stuff up.  Yay blog!

January- We started clomid to try to get pregnant.  We had been trying for 5 months at that point, but this was the first “serious” month.

February- The clomid failed.  We found out we would be moving to Rhode Island and then Washington state (our top choice!)

March- The clomid failed..again.  Mr. SIlly turned 30.  We took an epic road trip to CA, OR, and WA to visit family.  I got my iPhone and fell in love.

April- We went to a fair and Smushy got to “hold” her very first monkey.  I got my wisdom teeth removed.

May- More clomid.  Mother’s Day!  Mr. Silly and I celebrated our 7th anniversary.  I moved my blog.  Sorta.

June- We dealt with some house drama.  Took a weekend trip to Austin.  Clomid failed…AGAIN.

July- Had a garage sale and made a billion dollars selling baby stuff.  Found out the clomid worked and baby #2 would be making an entrance in March.  Smushy turned 2.  We celebrated by taking her to Sea World in San Antonio.

August- We found out there is just ONE baby in there.  I turned 29.  Lots of planning and prepping for the move.

September- My cat ran away.  We moved from Texas to Rhode Island.  I entered the 2nd trimester.  Lots of unpacking and organizing (Turns out, this never really ends.)  We went to a big fair thing and met up with a few mommies from my online mommy group.  Fun fun fun.

October- Mr. Silly went to VA for work for a couple of weeks.  When he got home we went apple picking and took Smushy to a corn maze.  Smushy started school for the first time.  We found out we would be having a little boy.  Smushy went trick-or-treating for the first time and had a blast!

November- Not much happened this month (at least that I blogged about).  We celebrated Thanksgiving with some friends.  I got huger.

December- We got our first snow and I got my car stuck in the mud in my yard and had t call a tow truck and cried a lot.  A mouse tried to kill me and I traumatized my kid.  Lots of Christmas prepping (shopping, cooking).  I started the 3rd trimester.  Finished the year celebrating my nephew’s 1st birthday with my sister and brother in law.

So, to recap: New home, new baby on the way, same old everything else.  Hooray!

I’ve had a little coffee today, which always makes me a little edgy.  I am a LOUD and HYPER person without coffee.  I get it from my LOUD and HYPER dad.  Hyper might not be the right word because I mostly just like to sit on the couch, but I am rarely still.  I can’t talk on the phone without pacing constantly.  You can imagine how I must annoy people, but I truly can’t help it.

I don’t usually need coffee for energy, I need it for motivation.  I am LAZY.  Very very lazy.  And yet, Things, they still need to get done.  If I’m the one doing them, caffeine is the push I need.  And it totally works.  BUT, side effect:  My brain gets all filled and jumbly.

SO!  You get the joy of taking a peek inside my crazy.  Which really isn’t so much crazy today, just very very jumbly.  With Bullets!

• My $80 wireless mouse broke after only a few months.  I’ve switched to a $15 wireless mouse and it works great.  FTR, I did not know it was $80 when I bought it since sometimes I don’t look at how much things cost.  I just assume they cost around X amount.  I don’t know why I do that.
• I have a lot of cleaning and other such domestic stuff to do today.  I feel like I must say that all the time.  I seem to be having a hard time getting going today.  The thing is, Smushy is in school which is the very PERFECT time to get things accomplished since it is impossible when she’s here to get anything done. But I feel like it would be pointless to clean since she will come home and destroy everything.  Mr. Silly got a taste of it this weekend when he had to vacuum our area rug twice in an hour.  That was yesterday.  And I need to vacuum again already.  So I’m trying to figure out what’s the point of cleaning AT ALL.  Also, is there a magic age when I can expect her to keep something decent for 10 minutes?
• I need to figure out a recycling system.  I have trash cans on the deck for recycling that are very convenient, but apparently, I can’t be bothered to open the door and use them.  For now I just leave it all on the table right near the door to the deck and make Mr. Silly do it.  I have a valid reason for this.  If it’s raining, I don’t want to get wet.  Also, if I open the door AT ALL, Smushy wants to go outside.  So the current plan is to AVOID.  Not a great plan for the keeping of the clean house.
• I belong to a mommy message board.  We have been together since we were pregnant with our 2007 babies.  These women rock, seriously.  A lot have gone on to have children since then.  So there have been a few posts lately about how hard it is with 2, especially in the beginning.  And I am FREAKING OUT.  Everyone keeps saying how they had help in the beginning and it was their saving grace and I DON’T HAVE HELP.  Mr. Silly will  go back to work the Monday after he’s born (he should be here on a Wednesday) and then I have no one.  Also, he’s due to deploy after we move and then it will be me for 6 months or however long he’s gone.  FREAKING OUT!!!!  Things that are currently freaking me out are:

1. I have to take care of a crazy toddler and a newborn while recovering from a C-Section by myself!!  Smushy is fast and destructive and toddler-y.  Newborns like food and stuff.  I am going to be walking like an old lady for a while at least and unable to move fast.  I don’t know how to do this.
2. I remember the dark moments the very few times I was alone with Smushy in the beginning.  I know how hard it is with one.  I know what sleep deprivation can do.  What if I don’t handle 2 very well on my own?  What if I snap or something?  This probably scares me more than anything.
3. Smushy was an AWESOME sleeper.  No joke.  I’m confident enough in her sleeping to say it.  She was seriously the easiest baby ever.  So of course I won’t get that lucky twice.  And what if he sucks at sleeping.  I can’t nap when he naps the way I could when Smushy was little.  How am I going to cope?
4. I am completely sad for Smushy since I know she’s going to get the short end of the stick for a while.  Not to mention I just know I will lose my patience with her.  I’m trying to implement some don’t lose your patience techniques now, so maybe some of them will stick.  I’m trying to be very matter of fact about discipline.  And I’m working on her putting herself into time out in case I’m nursing when she get into trouble.

• My iPhone ate my contact list.  I synced it last night and it changed everything to my computer address book which had all of 2 numbers on it since I never use that one.  So now, I have to try to remember everyone’s numbers (impossible) and use the recent call list to fix what I can.  I am annoyed.

The End.

We have had the flu up in here for a good week.  Hence the not blogging and also not responding.  Sorry.  And it was just Mr. Silly who was sick, but between taking care of him and Smushy with no break, I am just beat.  I’ve been trying to catch up on a little sleep on the couch this morning, but Smushy is not having it.  She keeps stealing my pillow and blanket.  She’s so mean.

Anyway.

How far along? 21 weeks

Total weight gain: Down 6.5lbs as of my last appointment.

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Sleep: If only these people I live with would let me.  And I think this morning I woke up to kicking for the first time, well, ever.  Smushy was not a morning kicker.

Food cravings: I want a cheeseburger.

Best moment this week: I felt the baby from the outside for the first time last night.

Movement: A lot.  And now enough to shake my belly.

Gender: A boy.  (OMG ITS STILL A BOY!!!)

Labor Signs: Nope.

Belly Button in or out? In, but I have a feeling this isn’t going to last long.

What I miss: Making it through a movie or commercial without crying.

What I am looking forward to: A nap.

Weekly Wisdom: Remember to take care of yourself, even when it seems you don’t have time left over after taking care of everyone else.

Milestones: Over halfway done.  And 21 is my lucky number.

We have one car between us.  This usually is not a big deal because I avoid driving like the plague.  But now that Smushy is in school 2 days a week, I am forced to take the car.  This means I have to get up at 6, get myself dressed, get Smushy dressed, and feed Smushy and Mr. Silly.

(I would like to point out that Mr. Silly only has to worry about getting himself ready, even though we both have to get up at the same time and leave at the same time.  Motherhood=Fatherhood x 1 billion.)

Then we have to rush out the door (stopping Smushy from escaping into the backyard because OUTSIDE!) while Mr. Silly complains about running late and OMGPANIC!.  Drop him off at work (20 minutes away).  Take her to school (3 minutes from my house, so 23 minutes away from work).  Get home, sleep/clean/internet until the very last minute.

The next part goes one of 2 ways.  Somedays, I pick up Smushy at noon and just bring her home, then we get Mr. Silly from work whenever he gets done–usually between 5:30-7:30.  (So, making sure she is fed before we leave or figuring out a quick dinner on the way home.  Also, loading her heavy, kicky butt into the carseat.  Again.)  Then we get home whenever, feed Mr. Silly, bathe Smushy, hang out, and bedtime.  Evenings are hectic.

OR

Sometimes Mr. Silly needs the car or he’ll be getting off from work super late, so I get him at 11:30.  Then we both go pick up Smushy at noon and come home.  Sometimes he has to rush right back to run errands or whatever, and sometimes he hangs out for an hour and has lunch here (Oh, did I mention I am in charge of lunch too?  For everyone?  Yeah, that.)  I actually like these days since he at least gets to spend a little time with the kid.  Plus, I don’t have to load her up to get him later and I don’t have to stress about timing dinner just right.  Unfortunately, that happens about once a week.

Add in all the cleaning, shopping, cooking, diaper changes, nap fighting, and general chaos that is my life and I am just beat.  Mr. Silly gets home and just wants to hang out and chill after a loooong day of classes, and I totally get that.  But my day doesn’t end.  I am exhausted by 9, but that’s about when Smush falls asleep and, therefore, the only me time I get.  Plus Mr. Silly is not currently being a mother and baking a kid and tired all the time, so he wants to be a grown-up and stay up later.  And I can’t sleep at night in bed without him.  During the day?  Sure.  On the couch at anytime?  Probably.  But at night in bed?  No.  So I wait for him until he’s done doing whatever it is he does (last night that was midnight) and finally, finally get to sleep.

Until I have to get up to pee.  Then again an hour later.  And oh right a few more times after that.  Just to get up in the morning and do it all over again.

So I’m tired.  A lot.  I have made amazing progress on getting the house stuff all caught up, but I still have a long way to go.

After re-reading that, it sounds very complain-y, and it is in some ways, but it’s not that bad.  Just chaotic.  Mr. Silly doesn’t just get home from work and sit on the couch all night.  Last night he was putting together furniture.  Tonight he’ll be hanging stuff on Smushy’s wall and moving a mattress downstairs and de-clogging the bathroom sink since a toddler has been in there and Lord knows why it’s draining slow.  His day doesn’t really end either.  I always have something I need him to take care of.  I try to keep the weekends open for family time, but there are days I rope him into helping me catch up with whatever cleaning I couldn’t get done during the week or just get me started so i don’t feel so overwhelmed with everything.  None of my complain-y-ness is his fault.  (Except that whole morning and lunch thing.  Totally his fault.)

Umm.  Have to end this cuz the kid just fell asleep on the couch.  Shit.

Mr. Silly had to go to Virginia for training for 2 weeks.  With the car.  The only car.  So I was stuck here with Smushy.  No big deal, really.  There was lots of unpacking and organizing left to do (not that I did any of it).

The thing is, I hate being alone.  I don’t do well.  I get extra paranoid and just sucky in general.  I think maybe I’m just out of practice?  Mr. Silly has been off work for a year and before that he worked very short hours, so it was like he was home all the time anyway.  I think I’m just very used to him being around.  I know that I’m going to have to get back in the swing of things since he is going to be deployed at some point.

And maybe that’s part of why this is so much harder than usual.  The next time he leaves, it will be for months at a time and I will have to deal with 2 kids by myself. Mr. Silly is a very involved dad.  I’m not used to doing it all by myself.  I mean, I have and I can, but I don’t like it.  (Does anyone?)  Since Smushy was born I knew the day would come that he would leave for months and months and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for that.  But with him being in Virginia, I think it just suddenly hit me that I won’t have to worry about handling one kid on my own.  I’ll have 2.  All of a sudden.  No transition time.  It put me in a really big funk the entire time he was gone.  Hormones don’t help.

This is all just stuff I’m going to have to work through and deal with (because what choice do I have?) and I’ll be fine when it comes down to it.  I just needed some time to adjust and accept.  I don’t know why I didn’t blog about it.  This is supposed to be my outlet for stuff like this.  I just couldn’t come up with the words I needed.  Mostly I just wanted to cry and that doesn’t really come out in writing.

Things are better now.  They always are when he’s home.  We spent the first weekend doing family stuff.  It was perfect.  I know that sounds corny, but it really was the most perfect weekend of my life.  He’ll be working long hours all week long while we’re here.  Weekends are family time.  I am going to make the most of what I have.

Today I am 29 years old.  Or as Mr. Silly put it, “One year closer to 30.”  Isn’t he sweet.  Everyone should have a Mr. Silly.

I wasn’t even going to announce it.  Mostly because there is so much going on this year.  I have never been one of those people to forget their birthday.  And I didn’t this year either.  But I came very close to it.  Mr. Silly got me a Wii game that we can play together.  It’s actually pretty fun.  Something about resort something or other.  He insisted I open it (as in, open the plastic store bag) right after he got home.  We are not big into surprises.  He also got me a gift certificate for a pedicure on Mother’s Day that I’m redeeming tomorrow.  But I don’t know how much it counts as a birthday present.

Tomorrow night (tonight?  I don’t really count it as the day until I’ve gone to sleep and woke up the next morning.  Midnight Schmidnight.) we’re going to my favorite Japanese restaurant with the yummiest food ever!  Smushy likes the miso soup and making huge messes with her rice.  It’ll be perfect.  Well, almost.  We do have to be there at 5:30 ish since it’s a Friday night and they get busy fast.  Plus it’s not the quickest place and 2 year olds all have time limits and I don’t care how good they are.  But we’ll make do.

I’m also thinking of going to the mall for a little shopping.  Like maternity pants.  It’s not that I really need them right now, but I need them right now.  It’s the bloat.  And I don’t want to have to buy a bigger size of regular pants just because it’s not really “baby” causing the belly. Mostly late night carbs.  Mmmmmm.  Plus, I’m going to need them eventually.  I mean, I can’t go out in my comfy lounge pants all winter, even if they are SO COMFY.  Seriously.  Go buy some.  From Target.  I think they’re called “dorm pants”.  You’re welcome.

Also, we are so busy busy busy over here.  We are officially out of here next Friday.  The movers will be here Wednesday and Thursday.  Plus we have to clean.  Mostly Mr. Silly.  Cuz I’m pregnant and shouldn’t be around cleaning fumes.  Shut up, it is too true.  (Right?  I mean I just figured.  Whatever, he doesn’t read my blog and I am soooo milking this.)  Not to mention the pre-mover cleaning including washing an entire playhouse.  Bird poop and sidewalk chalk.  We’re dealing with that this weekend.

Also, my 7 year old cat ran away, but now he’s back so there isn’t really a story there.

Heh.  Sounds so artsy.

• Our A/C stopped working.  In Texas.  In the Summer.  Suck on that for a while.  It works now and I am back to being cool and happy.  Ahhhhhh.
• We (Mr. Silly) painted the nursery from the green when Smushy was born to white to get a jump on moving preps.  It took For.Ev.Er to get all the furniture moved back in there.  It looks much better now and so does my living room.  No more junk everywhere!  (Ok, some junk everywhere, but not as much and we’ll be working on it tonight to get ready for…)
• Realtors are coming to poke through my things tomorrow morning.  It is so weird having strangers roam through the house and even stranger when it happens and I’m not here.
• We’ve decided to have a garage sale.  I’ve never done one.  How does it even go.  In our city, you have to pay for a garage sale permit, but they advertise it for you with signs and online.  I’ve started a list of crap I want to get rid of.  A lot of furniture and kitchen stuff.  I wish we’d figured this out before because I have donated 2.7 million bags of clothes and toys to various charities over the past month.  Not that I would want to sell it and not give to charity, but I feel like my garage sale will be empty of stuff.  How much stuff should I have?  And can I possibly get away with not tagging anything and just putting a big sign out that reads: “Make Me An Offer.  No, Really.”?  Would you be more likely to buy someone else’s crap if there were free lemonade?  Keep in mind, Texas.  Summer.
• The nap thing I referred to has sorta fixed itself.  She learned to climb out of her crib and fought naps for a week then just got bored and started sleeping in her crib again.  Self-fixing Toddler!  Woot!  Also, tonight she asked to sleep in the big girl bed (queen mattress on the floor) and I let her.  So that’s where she is for the very! first! time!  I’m not as nervous as I thought I’d be.  Mostly curious.
• My laptop has been acting kooky for the past week.  It seemed like a virus, so i ran a virus scan.  Nothing.  Then I ran a spyware scan.  Nothing.  Then I ran a boot scan.  Nothing.  So I figured maybe it was the operating system.  So I wiped the whole. damn. thing. and restored it.  And oh look at that STILL NOT WORKING RIGHT.  So fuck it.  I bought a Mac.  Should be here later this week.  We had already planned on switching, but it just happened a little early.  Also, Macbooks are crazy expensive.  So we got a desktop.  I’ll deal with my stupidbrokenPOSlaptop for a while and get a Macbook later.  Sooooon.  Mr.Silly can take over the desktop.  Poor guy always gets my electronic seconds.

But no time! Things are still insane around here and will probably stay that way for another week. The garage doors are getting replaced on Monday. The bathrooms are getting done on Tuesday. We have to be out of the house all day on Tuesday because of the fumes, so we’re staying in a hotel for the night.

And tomorrow someone is coming to look at the house. This is the first time, so we’re busy busy cleaning. I’m not going out of my way to make it perfect since this isn’t my house and I don’t really give a shit if it sells, but I am trying to make it look decent. Nice for me too since I get to live in a cleaner house. Woo!

The AC is still on the fritz and the home owner is trying to get out of fixing it. I get that they’re trying to sell the house and don’t want to put a bunch of money in it, but this is Texas. In the Summer. The end. Actually Mr. Silly is getting pretty pissed about the whole thing and that actually makes him more silly. Maybe just to me though.

Smushy is not napping well and I know the reason(s), but have no time to go into it because there are a LOT of reasons. I blame Mr. Silly and also the government and I will completely explain when I have more time. Either way the not napping or napping at the dumbest times sucks and I would like that crap to stop rightthisminute! Progress report to follow.

Sometimes I like to leave town for a few days (or weeks) and just not tell anyone.  It’s because I think you might come and steal my stuff.  Because, you know, you NEED my collection of crap.  Surely no one else has such a lovely crap collection.

We drove up to Austin for the weekend. It was perfect. If it weren’t so damn hot, I would want to live there. It’s got all the city stuff, but still a lot of green all around. We stayed at the Renaissance and it was so nice. Our room was perfect and Smushy even slept in the little pack-n-play they provided which never happens! She’s always right in between us. It was so nice to have a king sized bed all to ourselves!

Ahhhh!

Sleeping in the NOT grown-up bed!

Awwww!

There are a million restaurants and the food is amazing.  I had the best fajitas in my entire life there.  I want to go back and have some more.  Also, Cheesecake Factory.  I want to live there.  We ordered room service a couple times just to avoid the Smushy in a restaurant craziness.  It costs a billion dollars and unless we win the lottery, we probably won’t ever do it again.  But not having to deal with a crazy toddler in front of people?  Totally made it all worth it. We actually went there to get pictures done. Mr. Silly got me a photo shoot with a real photographer for Mother’s Day. No pics yet, but when I get them, I’ll post them.

Mr. Silly at PF Changs

Smushy at PF Changs

We visited the cow statues at the Arboretum. Smushy loved them (of course). We did a lot of walking around out there, but man it was HOT. I am not a fan of the heat.

Smushy riding the cow. Yeehaw!

Loving the cow.

Hugging the cow.

All in all, good trip! I would love to go back someday (in the winter). Fun fun fun!

Things have been a little crazy around here for the past couple of weeks.

For one, I started a new blog (this one) (in case it wasn’t clear).  There was a problem with the hosting setup or something I don’t know.  A friend of mine did a little looking and pointed me in the right direction and I am eternally grateful.  Now I see why people get stressed out about this stuff.  I seriously thought I’d be out the cost of a year of hosting.  That was depressing.  So I kinda think I’ll just renew every year for the rest of my life because I am never going through this again.

It’s a little boring right now and I hope to eventually have a custom blog design, but I don’t even know where to start with that.  It’ll come.  Eventually.

When I was pregnant with Smushy, our AC started leaking into the closet of the nursery.  The homeowners called in the professionals and it was fixed rather quickly.  The carpet was never replaced though.  Fast forward to a few weeks ago.  The AC started leaking again.  This time the owners just came themselves and blew it out with an air compressor.  It dried up and we went on with our lives.  Fast forward (again) to last week.  It starts leaking AGAIN.  This time the smell is so bad we had to take apart Smushy’s crib and move it into the guest room.  The professional came out today and fixed it, but it’s still wet and it still smells awful.  I can’t stand to even be in there for more than a few minutes.  I am so glad we’re moving soon.

Also, a pillar from the front porch fell off today.  Like for no reason.

And the bathtub wasn’t glazed right and has been peeling since we moved in.  We don’t use the bathtub.

I can’t wait to move.

We’re leaving tomorrow morning to take a little mini-vacation.  Mr. Silly got me a photo shoot with a professional (and awesome) photographer for Mother’s Day.  I’m never in pics with Smushy since I’m always behind the camera.  We’re planning on doing some mother-daughter shots and maybe a few of the whole family.  I’m really excited about it and I can’t wait to post pictures.

I’d better get to packing!