Whew!

Smushy woke up with no fever!  Yay, right?  But no, she is juuuust well enough to be completely disagreeable.  She only wants yogurt and screams if I even make something different for myself.  It took forever to get her down for a nap (with kicking and screaming) and she was coughing a bit, so I know it wasn’t very restful.  Plus it was only 2 hours, which would be fine if she weren’t so cranky all day.  Add on some stuck poops and we have both been miserable.  I find myself feeling really bad for her one minute and really annoyed with her the next.

Mr. Silly is working late tonight and won’t be home for another hour and a half.  He did come home for lunch and dinner though, so at least we got to see him a little.  But that meant I was running around right before he got home both times trying to get meals done so he could eat quickly since he didn’t have a lot of time.  Not a big deal, but I’ve been really contraction-y today and probably should try to stay off my (very very swollen) feet.  Plus I asked him TWICE about his schedule on Wednesday because I have to go grocery shopping and TWICE he told me it was fine but then OhRightIForgot he has this thing that completely throws a wrench in my plans.  This has happened for the past 3 weeks every time I have plans.  I am getting pissed.  I mean, I know it’s not his fault.  But I don’t care.  He is the only person I can get mad at and so take it out on him I shall!  Grrrr!

My living room looks like HELL because I can’t bend over so well and my back starts screaming at me 2 seconds after I start trying to clean.  I’ve asked Mr. Silly to handle it, but he just won’t.  I don’t know why since he has no problem cleaning in general and has picked up the slack a TON.  It’s just weird and annoying since it really looks like shit.  Driving me absolutely crazy.  So much so that I’ve actually started trying to clean it, but OMG pain.  Suck it.

AND AND AND!  We were charged some bogus charge and then refunded the wrong amount on our checking account.  It was only 9 cents different, so we’re not fighting it, but we do have to go through the whole blah blah boring crap and it’s stupid.  We’re planning on switching our checking account from that bank soon anyway, and this just cements that decision.

Plus, no one has told this child there is NO OPENING NEXT TO MY BELLYBUTTON from which to escape and he is trying to kill me.  All the lotioning in the world does not seem to help  this.  I can not get him to pick a different position and my skin is stretched to the limit.  Driving me batty!!

I’m just having one of those days.

• Smushy got sick, then I got sick.  Smushy got sick again, and now I am sick again.  Mr. Silly is getting sick.
• I look like I’m wearing a snake skin on my hands and feet and arms and legs.  My skin does not like winter.
• Snow (even though we really haven’t had that much, but there is more coming this week and I still hate it a bunch from that one time).
• The fact that it takes us a million hours to get anywhere since there are 5 thousand lights in this town and they like to be red a lot.
• It’s cold.  All the time.
• Cold outside + Sick all the time = Never going outside ever = Bored.
• Mice.  Or, 1 mouse, actually.  Whatever creepy ewww.

No, it’s not that bad (even though everything above is 100% true).  I’m just sick and whiny.  Tomorrow I will be singing the praises of being so close to everything and blah blah lovely trees.

• The child WILL NOT take a normal length nap.
• You WILL fall asleep 2 minutes before she wakes up.
• And she WILL find the non-kid-friendly markers on the day you have to meet your husband’s new boss.
• And she WILL color her hands, arms, and face a very dark green.
• And you WILL NOT have anything in the house that might be able to remove it.
• And she WILL run around half naked saying “No pants!”
• And you WILL be a huge, pregnant house with nothing to wear.
• Seriously, 1 pair of jeans that fit.
• And you WILL have awful sciatic pain making it impossible to bend over to pick anything up, thus leaving your house a huge mess.
• And the never ending morning sickness and heartburn WILL kick in just before you have to leave even though they’ve stayed away all day.

Son of a monkey.

So my MIL calls me today to let me know we should have a copy of her trip itinerary in our email. You know, for her visit in March? March, as in, the month I have this baby?

Yeah.

I am so completely grateful that she’s going to be here. I would not have said that the last time I was pregnant, but I also didn’t have a toddler to consider back then. Thankfully, I have a great friend who could have watched Smushy for me, but that wasn’t really my ideal situation since that would put her an hour and a half away and not sleeping in her own bed. I really want her to have some kind of stability while I’m in the hospital. So my MIL being here is so great. Smushy can sleep in her own bed and she’ll only be 20 minutes away from us. Mr. Silly can come home at night and put her to bed. She’s been a little difficult to get to sleep for a while now and the whole process can easily take a couple of hours. I just don’t think she would do well with a stranger putting her to bed.

Which is pretty much what my MIL is. It sucks, but that’s how it goes when family lives across the country. I plan on talking up “Grandma” and maybe getting on Skype or something so she can see her, but I know Smushy. That’s not going to cut it. She is very much a mama’s girl and this is going to be tough on her. Add in postpartum hormones and I’m not going to be doing so great with it either.

We’re in the planning stages of getting ready and now is when I’m starting to worry. The details are starting to occur to me. Details like, Smushy has school the day of my c-section. So I have to take my MIL to show her where the school is the day before so she can drop Smushy off in the morning. And what if Smushy freaks out and screams for me at pick-up time? I talked to the school and they’re going to help as much as they can.

And what if my MIL can’t get her down for a nap? Naptime is usually pretty easy around here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, but of course it will be.  And the plan is for everyone to come meet the new baby after Smushy nap and stay for dinner and leave once visiting hours are over.  I don’t think I’m going to do well with her leaving.  I am freaking out about it.  So much so I want to cry just thinking about it.  I’m not used to being away from her.  I’m planning on asking my doc at my next appointment when is the soonest I can get out of there.  I was there for 44 hours after I had Smushy.

Mr. Silly is going to take Smushy back home and put her to bed.  That helps so much.  But she has a habit of waking in the middle of the night and climbing into bed with us.  We had planned for my MIL to sleep downstairs on the sleeper sofa in the playroom, but that obviously won’t work if Smushy is going to wake up.  She’ll have to stay in our bed.  Which is fine, but how is Smush going to handle waking up in the middle of the night and her parents aren’t there??

Part of me thinks it would just be best is Mr. Silly stay with Smushy.  Like the whole time.  Except that isn’t fair to the new baby or Mr. Silly since he should get a little time with his son.  Not to mention I’ll need him there over night to help with changing and stuff since I won’t be able to get out of bed.

I’m just super stressed about all of this.  I hope getting it out now will help me deal with it when the time comes or at least accept what isn’t in my very controlling hands.

Grief

RIP Nanny.

I am sick.  I have been sick since last year.  I lost my voice on the 28th and on the 29th I started feeling a chest yucky-ness.  Then it got bad.  And I had family visiting and New Years and all that fun stuff.  So I faked it.  I mean, I sound like I’d been smoking a pack a day for 30 years, so it’s not like I was hiding it, I was just faking how functional I was.  As in, I wasn’t.  I barely made it through the time my sis was here.  And when she left it all came crashing down on me.  I spent the next 2 days feel completely miserable.  I finally started feeling “better” on Sunday, but it’s still there.  A nasty cough, and going through a million boxes of tissue and now I sound like I’ve been smoking a pack a day for 10 years.   There are still times I have no voice at all and have to get by with whispering.

Mr. Silly tries.  He really does.  He can manage to take care of the house and Smushy by himself, but he could not take care of me too.  I asked him for some hot tea and got it about 2 hours later.  I asked him for food-and I was really specific because he hates when I don’t tell him exactly what I want- and I finally got it an hour later when I got my sick ass up and made it myself.  Now, when he is sick I pretty much cater to him for days until he gets better AND take care of the house AND take care of the kid.  He just can’t.  It actually kinda pisses me off.  Especially when he acts like he is sick too.  When he isn’t and we both damn well know it.  And then he acts like I just have what he just got over and to that I say LIAR!  He had a cough for a couple of days.  That was it.  I don’t remember him being miserable for a week and a half.  Big baby.

And now Smushy is getting something.  I don’t know if it’s the same something, but I hope not.  She has a nasty cough and sounds really stuffy, but nothing else.  She’s acting just fine so far.  As bad as it is to be sick and pregnant, it is much worse to see your kid sick and know there’s not much you can do.  I suppose it’s better than this happen now instead of in March when I’m bringing a newborn into the mix.

So that’s pretty much it.  We all feel like poop.  The end.

A month by month list since I have a blog and can just look old stuff up.  Yay blog!

January- We started clomid to try to get pregnant.  We had been trying for 5 months at that point, but this was the first “serious” month.

February- The clomid failed.  We found out we would be moving to Rhode Island and then Washington state (our top choice!)

March- The clomid failed..again.  Mr. SIlly turned 30.  We took an epic road trip to CA, OR, and WA to visit family.  I got my iPhone and fell in love.

April- We went to a fair and Smushy got to “hold” her very first monkey.  I got my wisdom teeth removed.

May- More clomid.  Mother’s Day!  Mr. Silly and I celebrated our 7th anniversary.  I moved my blog.  Sorta.

June- We dealt with some house drama.  Took a weekend trip to Austin.  Clomid failed…AGAIN.

July- Had a garage sale and made a billion dollars selling baby stuff.  Found out the clomid worked and baby #2 would be making an entrance in March.  Smushy turned 2.  We celebrated by taking her to Sea World in San Antonio.

August- We found out there is just ONE baby in there.  I turned 29.  Lots of planning and prepping for the move.

September- My cat ran away.  We moved from Texas to Rhode Island.  I entered the 2nd trimester.  Lots of unpacking and organizing (Turns out, this never really ends.)  We went to a big fair thing and met up with a few mommies from my online mommy group.  Fun fun fun.

October- Mr. Silly went to VA for work for a couple of weeks.  When he got home we went apple picking and took Smushy to a corn maze.  Smushy started school for the first time.  We found out we would be having a little boy.  Smushy went trick-or-treating for the first time and had a blast!

November- Not much happened this month (at least that I blogged about).  We celebrated Thanksgiving with some friends.  I got huger.

December- We got our first snow and I got my car stuck in the mud in my yard and had t call a tow truck and cried a lot.  A mouse tried to kill me and I traumatized my kid.  Lots of Christmas prepping (shopping, cooking).  I started the 3rd trimester.  Finished the year celebrating my nephew’s 1st birthday with my sister and brother in law.

So, to recap: New home, new baby on the way, same old everything else.  Hooray!

How far along? 28 weeks

Total weight gain: Up 2 pounds total as of my last appointment.

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Sleep: I’m sick.  And I have to pee a lot.  And my kid crawls into bed with us at some point.  So I wake up about 15 times a night.  We’ve had family visiting and now that they’re gone, I plan on napping a lot and going to bed early.

Food cravings: Meh.  Nothing jumps out at me.

Best moment this week: Passing my 1 hour glucose test by 1 whole point.  Woo!

Movement: Yes.  Not quite as active as usual, but he goes through quiet times every now and then.

Gender: Boy.

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out? Flattish and poking out.

What I miss: Just the physical stuff.  Like being able to get off the couch or bed without help.  Putting on my shoes without planning and grunting.  The usual.

What I am looking forward to: Our 3D ultrasound.

Weekly Wisdom: Don’t get sick.  It sucks and sucks more since there is very little you can take that actually works.

Milestones: Third Trimester!  And 28 weeks sounds like a big deal.  I think my next big deal week is 30.  No reason.  Just what my head tells me.

I would normally add a bunch of stuff about how 2009 was so great and reflect on how my life has improved and how 2010 will be so much better, but really?  No.  Can’t.  Just can’t.  I feel like ever-loving crap and have for a week or so.  My entire face is leaking all over the place and my head feels like someone stuffed cotton in it.  I’m constantly coughing this scratchy, painful, make you throw up hacking cough.  And I’m pregnant, so not a damn thing I can do about it.  I’ve had family here for a couple days and I’ve had to fake every second, including Chuck E Cheese for my nephew’s 1st birthday today.  So just not gonna happen this year.  I’ll try to eventually get around to a year in review type post with some resolutions tossed in for good measure, but it’s going to be late.

And we’re all just going to have to be ok with that.

How far along? 26 weeks

Total weight gain: Down 1.5lbs as of my last appointment.

Maternity clothes? Yes.

Sleep: I could definitely use more of that.

Food cravings: Chocolate every now and then.  I’m hoping I can keep that under control though.

Best moment this week: Surviving Wednesday and knowing I do not have to drive for 2 whole weeks.  With my luck, it won’t start snowing until I have to drive again.

Movement: Yes, so much.

Gender: Boy.

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out? More flattish now and if he’s in a certain spot, it pokes out.

What I miss: Being able to get up without twisting and grunting.

What I am looking forward to: Our 3D ultrasound that I have scheduled, but need to reschedule.  Also, Christmas dinner.

Weekly Wisdom: Just when you think you’ve reached your limit of Crap To Deal With, you find a mouse in your house.

Milestones: Viability.  But he’d better keep baking.

Also, mouse in the house.  A mouse.  I screamed like a girl.  Scamper killed it, and I have since covered it with 2 hand towels and swept it to the backdoor (out of the way) where it will stay until Mr. Silly calls at lunchtime and I beg him to please OMG pleeeeease come home and get rid of the mouse.  And even that was a chore since I still have this persistent morning sickness and I kinda want to throw up.

I would just call Mr. Silly at work, but I had to call the day I got stuck in the snow and I had to call yesterday since I realized way too ate that he took the car back to work with him with ALL the groceries in the back.  At least it’s cold, so everything lived.  I am, apparently, becoming “That Wife”.  The one who calls over every little thing.  But I swear I’m not trying to.  Not my fault the weather is against me and I’m pregnant and forgetful and mice just up and decide to invade and I’m too chicken to just deal with it myself.  I may have also scarred Smushy for life with my screaming and carrying on.  I know that is the exact WRONG way to react, but OMG MOOOOOUUUUUSSSSSE.

And I locked Scamper in the playroom downstairs for her trouble.  But really it’s so she doesn’t uncover the mouse.  Don’t worry, she is where the food, water, and litter box are.

Plus, Smushy had a fever last night and still (again?) this morning.  She’s being a little more clingy and chill than usual, but still eating and drinking fine and no other symptoms.  Which has nothing at all to do with the mouse and everything to do with me having a bad week.  At least she’s not missing school because of it.

I need a vacation.

Today sucks.  Short version?  Inexperienced driver (me) + snow + very steep driveway = tow truck.

So, hey it’s snowing!  And raining!  I HATE this crap.  I never used to hate snow, but now that I have to drive in it in this very steep, hilly area with my kid in my 2WD minivan I HATE IT!

Let’s start with this morning.  I look outside and see a blanket of white over the whole yard.  I started worrying about driving in it.  Then I’m sitting in the car while Mr. Silly is shoveling and I see a SUV sliding backwards down the road.  Then I start tearing up.  Panic.  Then Mr. Silly is driving down the hill toward the main road and can’t stop.  Instead of turning right like a normal person, he turns left since that’s the way he goes to work.  Even though there is a huge line of cars on the left and no where for him to go.  That pretty much did me in.  Hyperventilating, shaking, sobbing, and I almost threw up at least 3 times.  I do not tolerate this well.  I hate driving and cars and when you add in bad road conditions I turn into a big puddle of panic and fear.

Mr. Silly is freaking out about being late and not being careful, I’m freaking out because WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! and Smushy is in the back saying, “Mommy, you okay?”  No.  Mommy is not ok.  We finally get turned around and I bawl and hyperventilate my way to the base.  Mr. Silly is trying to be reassuring (only because he wasn’t late), but it doesn’t matter.  I have to drive.  Me.  On the road.  With the snow/ice/slippery death.  I decided to take the front gate since the back gate has more curves and everything.  I don’t usually go this way, but I figured it’d be safer.  And it was.  I was slow and careful and made sure to take the roads that should have been cleared and avoided the steepest hills and yeah, it took almost twice as long, but we made it to Smushy’s school safe and sound.  Going home was fine since I live all of 3 minutes away and by this point the worst of the snow was plowed or melted in the rain.

I decided to park in the yard since the driveway is really really steep and scary.  The yard is big enough that I could just pull around to get back to the private drive our house in on (not to be confused with our driveway).  I puttered around the house on the phone for a couple of hours and then got ready to go to the store before I had to pick up Mr. Silly for lunch.  Turning on the private drive, I got stuck.  In my yard.  I reversed and went forward and tried rocking it and jumping up and down, but the car would budge.  Mud is flying everywhere.  I calmly go back inside and proceed to cry my eyes out for a good 15 minutes.

Why me?  Why my first driving in the snow day?

I called Mr. Silly at work and left a message for him to call me back.  Then I called our insurance company (roadside assistance, baby!) and asked for a tow truck.  Mr. Silly called me back and I bawled a little more to him.  The tow truck driver was there in 10 minutes and had me out in 5.  He was so nice and understanding.  Even though I’m sure he thought I was a crazy woman for crying over a stuck car.  I picked up Mr. Silly and Smushy and nothing bad happened the whole rest of the time.  Going to ask the neighbors across the drive if I can park there a couple times a week since I am still not going down the driveway.

Today is now officially and decompress and veg-out day.  We will stay in pj’s, drink hot chocolate, and watch Christmas movies.  I will eat my entirely huge bowl of mac and cheese and not worry about anything else.  Today I don’t care if Smushy makes a big mess or watches too much TV.  I don’t care if the dishes pile a foot high and if the floor is covered in dirt and toys.  The laundry can sit happily in the hamper for today.  I am done.

And I pray this is a short winter.  Seasons are overrated.