Two kids are a little tougher than I expected. Or, rather, there are things about two kids that are tougher. Getting anything done, for instance. Every time I start something, I have to stop and change a diaper, or get a bowl of cereal, or clean up a bowl of cereal from the floor, or change another diaper, or feed a baby, or change my shirt because the baby spit up on me, or change the baby because he spit up on himself, or change another diaper. And by “or”, I mean “AND”.

In between all of that I’m doing laundry (why did no one tell me the laundry would multiply by 10 just by adding one small baby??), or doing dishes, or cleaning the living room/bedrooms/bathrooms, etc. And then if I do manage to get something done, the Toddler Tornado goes through again and destroys it.

And did I mention the packers will be here a week from today to pack up all my crap for the move? A week, people. That means we’ve also had cleaners (house and carpet) coming by the give us quotes. I’m a realist. If I can’t manage to keep it decent most days, there is no way I’m going to be able to do a move-out clean by myself while watching 2 kids with no TV to help. We’ll just hire people. I don’t even care how much it costs. Mr. Silly insisted on getting way too many quotes, which meant I had people randomly showing up with no notice because he forgot to tell me about it. More often than not, I answered the door in my pajamas with spit-up all over me, holding a crying baby while Smushy ran around like crazy in the background.

Plus we have all this other stuff going on to get ready for the move, like cleaning out the car and figuring out how I’m supposed to fit everything in it since during my initial, pre-baby planning, I did not take into consideration the frequency and volume of Doodle’s spit-up (and it is impressive) and there are no laundry stops. Which means I’m going to need a lot more shirts and burp cloths (though we use receiving blankets as burp cloths because it is IMPRESSIVE!) So! We need to have a roof rack storage thingy installed, so we have to call the dealer and have them order the bar part so they can install it when we go in for our 30,000 mile pre-cross-country-move stuff on Saturday, which is also the day we have to clean out the garage since we have the trash people coming by that day to pick up all the big trash we’ve collected.

And Smushy is in a particularly SUCK ASS phase right now. The not listening, running away in busy parking lots, saying “no” to everything I tell her to do/not do, being loud, making messes, laugh in your face when you try to discipline (ding ding ding! Mommy’s biggest red button), non-napping, annoying as all hell phase. I do not know what I’m doing. I feel like a complete failure. I am that bad mother who can not control her child. I hate that. I don’t want to be this way, I just can’t figure out what the hell to do about it.

Her behavior and his fussy evenings (fussy=crying/screaming) added on to everything else we have going on is just wearing on me. By the time we get both kids to sleep, I have no desire to do anything productive. Unless facebook, message boards, and iPhone games are considered productive these days.

I keep telling myself things will be better after we move and that Doodle won’t be in this screaming all evening phase forever and eventually I will figure out what to do about Smushy or her suck ass phase will end on it’s own. Things will get better. Just working on getting there.

Because it never lasts.

Yesterday was a good day. I got the grocery shopping done and put away while Smushy was in school.  Doodle napped in his car seat except when I had to feed him between errands. He wasn’t too fussy while we were out. I managed to get them both to sleep for ONE GLORIOUS HOUR of internetting and reading. I even managed to get some laundry done and wash the dishes AND cook dinner. Smushy wasn’t too annoying or toddlerish. Doodle didn’t scream at us too much. It was nice. Good day.

The days before was a bad day. Doodle didn’t sleep AT ALL that day. He just screamed and cried and ate. Smushy skipped her nap too and was generally annoying and disobedient. I think she had to go into time-out 3 or 4 times, which is a lot for her. She kept taking off all her clothes and peeing on the floor. (Though she did pee in the potty once for the very first time ever! Only good thing of the day.) Then she threw a full cup of water on the floor for no reason. When Mr. Silly got home, I begged for a break, but he decided right then would be the perfect time to call and get the TIVO working. So I had to wrangle both kids out of the living room since they were crying/screaming/noisy. We spent the next 30 minutes holed up in the bedroom while I nursed Doodle and tried to convince him to stop screaming at me and Smushy jumped and climbed all over the bed and me. I think I cried the entire time. Bad day.

I know things will get easier in some ways as Doodle gets older. And harder in others. I know we’re only 3 weeks in to being a family of 4 and there is an adjustment period. I know we’ll get it figured out. I know we have a lot going on with the upcoming move and boring day to day. And I know that we’re going to have a lot more good and bad days.

More updates once I know if my precious laptop can be saved. Have a baby pic to hold you over.

Smushy woke up with no fever!  Yay, right?  But no, she is juuuust well enough to be completely disagreeable.  She only wants yogurt and screams if I even make something different for myself.  It took forever to get her down for a nap (with kicking and screaming) and she was coughing a bit, so I know it wasn’t very restful.  Plus it was only 2 hours, which would be fine if she weren’t so cranky all day.  Add on some stuck poops and we have both been miserable.  I find myself feeling really bad for her one minute and really annoyed with her the next.

Mr. Silly is working late tonight and won’t be home for another hour and a half.  He did come home for lunch and dinner though, so at least we got to see him a little.  But that meant I was running around right before he got home both times trying to get meals done so he could eat quickly since he didn’t have a lot of time.  Not a big deal, but I’ve been really contraction-y today and probably should try to stay off my (very very swollen) feet.  Plus I asked him TWICE about his schedule on Wednesday because I have to go grocery shopping and TWICE he told me it was fine but then OhRightIForgot he has this thing that completely throws a wrench in my plans.  This has happened for the past 3 weeks every time I have plans.  I am getting pissed.  I mean, I know it’s not his fault.  But I don’t care.  He is the only person I can get mad at and so take it out on him I shall!  Grrrr!

My living room looks like HELL because I can’t bend over so well and my back starts screaming at me 2 seconds after I start trying to clean.  I’ve asked Mr. Silly to handle it, but he just won’t.  I don’t know why since he has no problem cleaning in general and has picked up the slack a TON.  It’s just weird and annoying since it really looks like shit.  Driving me absolutely crazy.  So much so that I’ve actually started trying to clean it, but OMG pain.  Suck it.

AND AND AND!  We were charged some bogus charge and then refunded the wrong amount on our checking account.  It was only 9 cents different, so we’re not fighting it, but we do have to go through the whole blah blah boring crap and it’s stupid.  We’re planning on switching our checking account from that bank soon anyway, and this just cements that decision.

Plus, no one has told this child there is NO OPENING NEXT TO MY BELLYBUTTON from which to escape and he is trying to kill me.  All the lotioning in the world does not seem to help  this.  I can not get him to pick a different position and my skin is stretched to the limit.  Driving me batty!!

I’m just having one of those days.

No, it’s not that bad (even though everything above is 100% true).  I’m just sick and whiny.  Tomorrow I will be singing the praises of being so close to everything and blah blah lovely trees.

Son of a monkey.

Yeah.

I am so completely grateful that she’s going to be here. I would not have said that the last time I was pregnant, but I also didn’t have a toddler to consider back then. Thankfully, I have a great friend who could have watched Smushy for me, but that wasn’t really my ideal situation since that would put her an hour and a half away and not sleeping in her own bed. I really want her to have some kind of stability while I’m in the hospital. So my MIL being here is so great. Smushy can sleep in her own bed and she’ll only be 20 minutes away from us. Mr. Silly can come home at night and put her to bed. She’s been a little difficult to get to sleep for a while now and the whole process can easily take a couple of hours. I just don’t think she would do well with a stranger putting her to bed.

Which is pretty much what my MIL is. It sucks, but that’s how it goes when family lives across the country. I plan on talking up “Grandma” and maybe getting on Skype or something so she can see her, but I know Smushy. That’s not going to cut it. She is very much a mama’s girl and this is going to be tough on her. Add in postpartum hormones and I’m not going to be doing so great with it either.

We’re in the planning stages of getting ready and now is when I’m starting to worry. The details are starting to occur to me. Details like, Smushy has school the day of my c-section. So I have to take my MIL to show her where the school is the day before so she can drop Smushy off in the morning. And what if Smushy freaks out and screams for me at pick-up time? I talked to the school and they’re going to help as much as they can.

And what if my MIL can’t get her down for a nap? Naptime is usually pretty easy around here, so it shouldn’t be a problem, but of course it will be.  And the plan is for everyone to come meet the new baby after Smushy nap and stay for dinner and leave once visiting hours are over.  I don’t think I’m going to do well with her leaving.  I am freaking out about it.  So much so I want to cry just thinking about it.  I’m not used to being away from her.  I’m planning on asking my doc at my next appointment when is the soonest I can get out of there.  I was there for 44 hours after I had Smushy.

Mr. Silly is going to take Smushy back home and put her to bed.  That helps so much.  But she has a habit of waking in the middle of the night and climbing into bed with us.  We had planned for my MIL to sleep downstairs on the sleeper sofa in the playroom, but that obviously won’t work if Smushy is going to wake up.  She’ll have to stay in our bed.  Which is fine, but how is Smush going to handle waking up in the middle of the night and her parents aren’t there??

Part of me thinks it would just be best is Mr. Silly stay with Smushy.  Like the whole time.  Except that isn’t fair to the new baby or Mr. Silly since he should get a little time with his son.  Not to mention I’ll need him there over night to help with changing and stuff since I won’t be able to get out of bed.

I’m just super stressed about all of this.  I hope getting it out now will help me deal with it when the time comes or at least accept what isn’t in my very controlling hands.

RIP Nanny.

Mr. Silly tries.  He really does.  He can manage to take care of the house and Smushy by himself, but he could not take care of me too.  I asked him for some hot tea and got it about 2 hours later.  I asked him for food-and I was really specific because he hates when I don’t tell him exactly what I want- and I finally got it an hour later when I got my sick ass up and made it myself.  Now, when he is sick I pretty much cater to him for days until he gets better AND take care of the house AND take care of the kid.  He just can’t.  It actually kinda pisses me off.  Especially when he acts like he is sick too.  When he isn’t and we both damn well know it.  And then he acts like I just have what he just got over and to that I say LIAR!  He had a cough for a couple of days.  That was it.  I don’t remember him being miserable for a week and a half.  Big baby.

And now Smushy is getting something.  I don’t know if it’s the same something, but I hope not.  She has a nasty cough and sounds really stuffy, but nothing else.  She’s acting just fine so far.  As bad as it is to be sick and pregnant, it is much worse to see your kid sick and know there’s not much you can do.  I suppose it’s better than this happen now instead of in March when I’m bringing a newborn into the mix.

So that’s pretty much it.  We all feel like poop.  The end.

January- We started clomid to try to get pregnant.  We had been trying for 5 months at that point, but this was the first “serious” month.

February- The clomid failed.  We found out we would be moving to Rhode Island and then Washington state (our top choice!)

March- The clomid failed..again.  Mr. SIlly turned 30.  We took an epic road trip to CA, OR, and WA to visit family.  I got my iPhone and fell in love.

April- We went to a fair and Smushy got to “hold” her very first monkey.  I got my wisdom teeth removed.

May- More clomid.  Mother’s Day!  Mr. Silly and I celebrated our 7th anniversary.  I moved my blog.  Sorta.

June- We dealt with some house drama.  Took a weekend trip to Austin.  Clomid failed…AGAIN.

July- Had a garage sale and made a billion dollars selling baby stuff.  Found out the clomid worked and baby #2 would be making an entrance in March.  Smushy turned 2.  We celebrated by taking her to Sea World in San Antonio.

August- We found out there is just ONE baby in there.  I turned 29.  Lots of planning and prepping for the move.

September- My cat ran away.  We moved from Texas to Rhode Island.  I entered the 2nd trimester.  Lots of unpacking and organizing (Turns out, this never really ends.)  We went to a big fair thing and met up with a few mommies from my online mommy group.  Fun fun fun.

October- Mr. Silly went to VA for work for a couple of weeks.  When he got home we went apple picking and took Smushy to a corn maze.  Smushy started school for the first time.  We found out we would be having a little boy.  Smushy went trick-or-treating for the first time and had a blast!

November- Not much happened this month (at least that I blogged about).  We celebrated Thanksgiving with some friends.  I got huger.

December- We got our first snow and I got my car stuck in the mud in my yard and had t call a tow truck and cried a lot.  A mouse tried to kill me and I traumatized my kid.  Lots of Christmas prepping (shopping, cooking).  I started the 3rd trimester.  Finished the year celebrating my nephew’s 1st birthday with my sister and brother in law.

So, to recap: New home, new baby on the way, same old everything else.  Hooray!